Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Piper? I Barely Even Know Her!

Now, since I am a non-award-winning author of the awkwardly intriguing book, [while awkwardly aiming for ten] - which you should check out if you haven't yet - I have had the privilege of meeting and getting to know many other authors. People, just like me (but drastically different), who have put their literary hearts on their sleeves and written about their triumphs, tribulations and everything in between. In an effort to help cross-promote the works of these fine people and myself, I've offered up a little, 7 question interview to display their works, quirks and share their literary prowess with the world.

One of those whom I have been lucky enough to get to know - and the willing first interviewee - is the Southern Belle-in-disguise, Piper Faust. Through her debut book, Idiots I've Seen Naked (available now on Amazon!), Piper weaves a tale of long-standing dating life inappropriateness through the book's main character Ava Grace McCrory. We follow Ava - which oddly enough is my mother's name and makes the book even that more inappropriate for me - through her dating (and bedroom) ups-and-downs and the men who stole her heart and then refuse to give it back.

I think my 5 star review on Amazon pretty much sums up how I feel about this book, and how I imagine many others would too. 

"I need to make a couple of things clear: First, I am not an avid reader and second, I do not have a vagina, but neither stopped me from thoroughly enjoying this book. From the sexcapades with some less than loveable characters to the witty one liners and colorful, well-crafted phrases, this book - like Jesus - took the wheel and drove me all the way home. I really did enjoy it and I think anyone would find more than a few laughs along the way. Well done!"

So, with all that out of the way - check out my 7 Questions with Piper Faust that I have creatively titled, "Piper? I Barely Even Know Her!"

1. Tell me more about the inspiration behind your first-ever book, Idiots I've Seen Naked?

Somewhere between receiving a $9.99 hounds-tooth umbrella for Valentines (WITH THE PRICE TAG STILL ATTACHED) and having a guy tell me he wants his excess testicle skin made into a pouch that his future grandchildren can collect arrowheads in, I decided God had to be sending these idiots into my life for a reason!  Why continue to deprive the world of such high quality entertainment?  

2. If you were Ava (the book's main character) which main male character would you go running back to?

I’m tempted to say all three!  Different nights, of course, and for completely different reasons. If you’re limiting me to just one idiot though, it would definitely be Briley Mason! It’s his animal-themed boxers that keep me coming back.  It’s hard to say no to a chicken dribbling a basketball!    

3. Do you plan on writing more - perhaps a sequel in which Ava finds one naked idiot to spend the rest her life with?

One naked idiot for Ava to spend her life with? Not just yet! Ava’s gonna need major therapy and a serious bikini wax before she’s ready to engage in conversation with a member of the opposite sex.  

4. What is the best part about knowing people are reading your words?

Having the opportunity to make my mess my message…an amusing little cautionary tale for anyone who’s about to make the mistake of loving an idiot, a douchebag, or a selfish jerk who’s eat up with dumbass!     

5. What is your favorite cuss word and why?

Bastige!  Not exactly a cuss word, but it still conveys the general consensus of my emotions while allowing me to maintain my dignity as a Southern Belle. 

6. How long did it take you to write this book?

Six months just working on it here and there.  I had already decided to write the book but was having trouble getting started.  One night, I was in the floor of my guest bathroom closet under a pile of pillows and blankets waiting on the tornado sirens to stop going off when I had a moment of literary inspiration!  I was about to be blown away by a Category 4 natural disaster, but, by golly, I was ready to start on my book!  So I whipped my phone out and started texting myself the first lines of my book…and here we are!  

7. If Piper Faust could have one superpower what would it be and why?

Initially, I was thinking I’d like to be invisible so I could go around spying on all my crushes and ex-men, but then with my obsessive compulsive issues, I’m afraid my spy tactics could get a bit addictive.  I’d never get anything accomplished because I’d be too busy spying on losers.  So, I’m pretty sure being able to read men’s thoughts on demand would be the next best superpower! 

So, that wraps it up - quicker than most of the guys in Piper's book! If you know what I mean (and I think you do)! Thanks to Piper Faust for letting me interview her and be sure to check out Idiots I've Seen Naked - which at .99 cents for the Kindle version is a steal! Also, get on board to Twitter and check out her musings there too!


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