Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sheep On, Sheepin' On...


If you ask the average Australian what they think of a New Zealander, he will most likely say, "They're nothing but a bunch of sheep f*ckers, mate!" And, while that may be true and would - in many cases -explain that odd bahhhh that sneaks into their accent every now and then, the Kiwis (as they are affectionately known) are a lot more than that.

In fact, just this week, the New Zealand parliament joined the modern world and voted in favor of marriage equality - placing the Kiwis (from a human rights point of view) well above many nations that like to see themselves as more evolved. In fact, the Kiwis have always been leaders in equality - women got the right to vote early on, indigenous cultures were allowed to flourish, and they even were the first country to accept Anna Paquin - long before she was that fang-banging Sookie Stackhouse.


(Before the vampire three-ways, she was just a little Kiwi lass with a piano)

Now, while the majority of Kiwis celebrate this tremendous moment in world history, many have spoken out and think that this will take away from the sanctity of marriage. One man even pointed out that now, maybe animals can get married too. And, honestly, I am sure the open-minded Kiwis are down with that. Now, any Kiwi should be able to wed the sheep (male or female) of their dreams.

I'd like to imagine that in the coming days an iPhone app will be developed for the sheep-attracted population of New Zealand to find other like-minded individuals within their region. It'll be called "Shear'r" and a wide variety of fantasies and encounters can be arranged with the push of a button. Like with this handsome fella below...


 Bahhhd Boi 69

 
 7 inches - thick - un-sheared
    Lookin 4 h0t time in outd00rs (sorry - no Asians)

And, luckily for the Kiwis, the English language has never involved enough to differentiate between sheep (singular) and sheep (plural) - so, one could accidentally plan a sexual escapade thinking he was about to get just one sheep and lo and behold, he walks into the room only to be confronted by a whole slutty flock just waiting for the right man to take them into shear ecstasy. You see, the possibilities are endless.

In short though, congratulations New Zealand - you've maintained your status as a global trailblazer. Leading the way for your people and for your world region to be more open, accepting and most importantly, equal. So, with that said, keep up the good work, you sheep f*ckers!


(Drop it like it's hot!)

If you'd like to read more of my stuff, check out my first ever book on Amazon now!



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