Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Side (Eye) of Salsa



On Sunday night, I went to an event to watch people compete their little hearts out in a salsa competition. First of all, I felt betrayed. When I heard the words "salsa competition", my mind instantly went to a place in which I would be seated on a bar stool surrounded by copious amounts of diced tomatoes with just enough zing to make my sandpaper tongue come to life. I'd then eat my way into a Mexican passport and live happily ever after with my donkey and a poncho. You can imagine my disappointment when what I found was a bunch of sweaty Caucasians, who were certified in Zumba, taking to the stage.

After watching couple by couple thrust their hips, bob their heads and glow of sweat, I decided to turn the porn off of my iPhone and pay attention to the dancing happening right in front of me. Eight groups of two were all piled onto a tiny stage at once, just begging for the love and adoration of the crowd. Doing everything they could to win votes and claim the prize of being a mediocre, random-bar dance legend, they twirled, kicked and caressed their bodies through perfectly sewn-together matching costumes. It was like Dancing with the Stars - without the stars. Which is basically, Dancing with the Stars.

There was this one couple though who I decided to hate. As I had entered the place, they were rehearsing in the middle of the path to enter and the woman did a spin-hair flip combo and almost cut my face with her straw-like mane. She didn't apologize or anything, she just kept spinning an inch away from my face. As her hair gently trickled across my brow, I imagined myself reverting to a Tonya Harding-like mentality and clubbing her in the knee. I'd then watch as she fell to the floor, crying away her dreams of dancing success.
But, I didn't. I'm too pretty for prison. 

My unnecessary disdain then turned to the guy. He weighed about 48 pounds and had chosen to wear a flowy, all-white number that I am sure allowed ample ventilation to the science-class skeleton frame that lurked just underneath. When he took a break from rehearsing, I saw him lean against a wall. He then, literally, stuck his head between his legs and pulled some sort of contorted yoga moves that were last featured in any random Halloween film in which an exorcism is performed.

At this point, with a belly lacking a delicious tomato paste-y wholesomeness, I decided to call it quits. I can watch dancing, I can watch stupidity (sidenote: check out any of my youtube videos) but I can not watch a grown man stick his head so far between his legs that he could have given a visual play-by-play of his own colonoscopy. It's not normal. It's not a part of God's plan, and I won't stand for it.

To check out more "stuck.at.seven", please "like" my Facebook page OR check out my first ever book on Amazon!






15 comments:

Iccesally Lee said...

Does it amount how abundant you absorb on these priceless emotions? Gifts are a abundant agency of affections and they gucci replica deserve to be able-bodied bidding and said to your admired one. Accomplish abiding you don't acquisition it replica watches boxy to accurate and if flowers are to your accomplishment again why delay more? Do forward your allowance appropriate now and accomplish your adult adulation cool blessed and cool proud. It doesn't amount if you allowance with break or without, abroad what chanel replica affairs is what you gift. What affairs is how you amusement your louis vuitton replica adulation life, if you wish you can accomplish it a lot accident and if you wish you can still bang the arid chords. It's all up to you, forward flowers to India, forward online flowers, online flowers delivery, annual bouquets in India, forward cakes to India, online cakes delivery, myflowergift, mid night prada replica delivery, flowers to India, cakes to India.

Guo Guo said...

coach outlet store online
moncler jackets
michael kors outlet online
ralph lauren sale
michael kors outlet
canada goose sale
timberland outlet
tory burch outlet
celine bags
michael kors handbags
abercrombie store
abercrombie & fitch
abercrombie outlet
coach factory outlet
fitflop
ralph lauren outlet
hollister kids
michael kors
chi hair strighteners
michael kors purses
kate spade
coach outlet
wholesale nfl jerseys
burberry sale
ray ban glasses
bottega veneta bags
ugg boots
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet
polo ralph lauren online
marc jacobs outlet
gucci handbags
louis vuitton outlet
discount oakley sunglasses
p90x
abercrombie and fitch
replica rolex watches
hollister clothing store
kevin durant shoes 2014
ray ban outlet

Da Shuai Guo said...

12guowenhao0824
adidas wings
vibram fivefingers
hermes birkin
kate spade handbags
toms shoes
tory burch outlet
michael kors outlet online, http://www.michaelkors-outlets.us.com
louis vuitton outlet
marc jacobs
toms shoes
air max 2014
mulberry uk
mont blanc outlet
vans shoes
new balance 574
instyler
adidas shoes
michael kors outlet online
true religion outlet, http://www.truereligionoutletstore.us.com
oakley,occhiali oakley,oakley italia,oakley occhiali,oakley sunglasses
hollister pas cher
coach outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
seattle seahawks jerseys
replica handbags,replica handbags outlet,cheap handbags,purses and handbags,wholesale replica handbags,replica bags,bags outlet,replica handbags wholesale,cheap purses,discount handbags,handbags sale,wholesale purses,handbags and purses,replica purses
oakley sunglasses
foamposite shoes
abercrombie
dallas cowboys jersey
chanel outlet

Da Shuai Guo said...

4guowenhao0824
hollister uk
giuseppe zanotti
cheap snapbacks
kate spade handbags
links of london
rolex watches uk
rolex watches
hollister canada, http://www.hollistercanada.com
lacoste outlet
salomon running shoes
puma sneakers
los angeles clippers jerseys
the north face outlet
coach outlet
roshe run men
nfl jerseys
michael kors outlet
fitflop
babyliss pro
evening dresses
celine outlet online
ghd hair straighteners
swarovski crystal
coach factory outlet
air max 2015
nike roshe
tiffany and co
louis vuitton handbags
gucci
tiffany and co jewelry

Mu Lin said...

louis vuitton zippy wallet
gucci purses
birkin bag hermes
cheap michael kors purses
coach outlet store
gucci outlet online
burberry purses
chanel bags outlet
burberry wallets
burberry bags
burberry handbags
burberry tote
gucci bags
hermes birkin
cheap coach purses
cheap gucci belts
coach tote bags
chanel bags prices
chanel wallet on a chain
michael kors bags on sale
michael kors cluthch
gucci clutch
hermes handbags
chanel clutch bag
longchamp bags
coach handbags sale
louis vuitton shoulder bag
gucci handbags
mcm purses
gucci bag
coach outlet store online
louis vuitton travel bag
louis vuitton watllets
coach crossbody
coach purse outlet

John said...

nike free runs
louis vuitton pas cher
nike roshe run women
air max 90
prada uk
christian louboutin
air max
snapbacks wholesale
adidas superstar
hollister co
cheap versace
nike air max 90
tods outlet
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
coach factory outlet
ugg sale
basketball shoes
timberland uk
jordan pas cher
canada goose outlet
coach outlet
ralph lauren polos shirts
abercrombie and fitch
retro jordans
louis vuitton borse
ghd
rolex replica watches
chaussure louboutin
adidas shoes
timberland boots
2015922yuanyuan

Wenhao Guo said...

north face jackets
san francisco 49ers
nike air max
coach outlet online,coach purses,coach handbags,coach bags,coach handbags sale,coach handbags outlet
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet online
louis vuitton handbags outlet store
atlanta falcons
michael kors handbags sale
coach outlet
michael kors outlet online
air jordan 4 free shipping
michael kors outlet store
the north face
nike air foamposite one,foamposite,foamposites,foamposite release 2015,foamposite sneakers,foamposites for sale,foamposite gold
fred perry shirts
ugg clearance
tiffany jewellery
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet store
cleveland cavaliers
replica watches
ralph lauren polo shirts
boston celtics
hollister pas cher
kansas city chiefs
cheap ugg boots
hollister,hollister canada,abercrombie and fitch,abercrombie,abercrombie fitch,abercrombie kids,a&f
michael kors online outlet
pittsburgh steelers
gucci handbags
nike outlet
ddddd1104

chenlina said...

chenlina20151211
gucci shoes
canada goose jackets
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
jordan retro
ray ban sunglasses outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
cheap air max
ray ban sunglasses outlet
jordan retro 11
jordan 11
michaek kors outlet online
air force 1
coach factory outlet
kids uggs on sale
uggs clearance
instyler max
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
p90x
tiffany and co
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet
pandora jewelry
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
lebron shoes
oakley sunglasses
ugg boots for women
air max uk
uggs on sale
oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
ugg boots sale
timberland outlet
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
as

Tory Burch Outlet said...

Kate Spade Outlet Toms Shoes Hermes Belt UGG Boots UGG Boots Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Store Outlet North Face Outlet Store North Face Outlet Store The North Face Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Louis Vuitton Outlet Timberland Boots Timberland Outlet Tory Burch Outlet Store Tory Burch Outlet Online Tory Burch Outlet Oakley Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Gucci Factory Outlet Gucci Outlet Gucci Handbags Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses North Face Jackets Prada Outlet Burberry Outlet Hollister Clothing Ferragamo Shoes Tiffany Jewelry Tiffany Outlet NFL Jerseys Cheap Jordans Oakley Outlet North Face Outlet

chenlina said...

chenlina20160220
christian louboutin outlet
christian louboutin shoes
jordan retro
chanel handbags
jordan 11 concord
tods shoes
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet
ugg boots
nike free runs
louis vuitton
uggs outlet
cheap jordan shoes
true religion outlet
ray bans
mulberry handbags
michael kors outlet
nike trainers uk
ugg boots sale
kobe bryant shoes
uggs outlet
mihchael kors outlet online
michael kors outlet online
louis vuitton purses
cheap oakley sunglasses
chanel bags
ralph lauren outlet
polo ralph lauren
replica watches
louis vuitton outlet
toms shoes
ralph lauren uk
adidas originals
coach outlet store online
louis vuitton
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet
abercrombie and fitch
air max uk
celine outlet
as

Gege Dai said...

swarovski outlet
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin uk
true religion outlet
louis vuitton outlet stores
fitflops sale clearance
cheap ray ban sunglasses
chrome hearts outlet online
lululemon outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
tiffany jewelry
swarovski outlet
mcm outlet
gucci sunglasses uk
cheap nhl jerseys
true religion canada
louis vuitton outlet
ray ban sunglasses
tiffany outlet
longchamp pliage
fitflops shoes
air max 2015
cheap mlb jerseys
kate spade uk
tiffany and co
coach outlet store
kobe bryants shoes
ralph lauren outlet
mulberry handbags
lebron james shoes
rolex watches
swarovski crystal
swarovski crystal
chanyuan0604a

Cran Jane said...

Tory Burch Flats Marc Jacobs Handbags Jimmy Choo Shoes Jimmy Choos True Religion Outlet ED Hardy Outlet
Burberry Belt Tory Burch Boots Louis Vuitton Belt Ferragamo Belt Marc Jacobs Handbags Lululemon Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes True Religion Outlet Tommy Hilfiger Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Coach Outlet Red Bottoms Kevin Durant Shoes New Balance Outlet Adidas Outlet Coach Outlet Online Stephen Curry Jersey Vans Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet
Ugg Boots Sale UGGS For Women Skechers Go Walk Adidas Yeezy Boost Adidas Yeezy Adidas NMD Coach Outlet North Face Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Puma Outlet Polo Outlet

Gege Dai said...

cheap nike shoes sale
coach outlet online
polo outlet
nike air max uk
hollister shirts
ralph lauren polo shirts
uggs outlet
ralph lauren,polo ralph lauren,ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren italia,ralph lauren sito ufficiale
kate spade uk
michael kors outlet
tory burch shoes
ugg boots
prada sunglasses
michael kors handbags outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
ferragamo outlet
michael kors outlet uk
burberry outlet
timberland boots
hollister uk
michael kors outlet online store
polo ralph lauren outlet
marc jacobs outlet
nike roshe run
true religion jeans
lacoste pas cher
ugg boots
adidas uk store
adidas nmd
uggs outlet
michael kors wallet sale
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
mizuno running shoes
rolex watches
gucci outlet
0808jianxiang

dong dong23 said...

uggs on sale
gucci outlet
the north face jackets
kate spade outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
burberry outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet online
burberry outlet online
michael kors outlet
abercrombie outlet
ugg outlet
louboutin pas cher
asics running shoes
nike trainers
christian louboutin sale
coach outlet store online
louis vuitton paris
michael kors uk
ugg outlet
canada goose jackets
uggs outlet
michael kors handbags
ugg canada
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
cheap jordan shoes
canada goose coats
nike nfl jerseys
kate spade
nike air max pas cher
coach factory outlet
north face outlet
louis vuitton outlet
asics shoes
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet
fitflops
giuseppe zanotti
20169.2wengdongdong

eric yao said...

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutletfactory-stores.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northface-outlets.com.co

UGG Boots 2016 http://www.uggboots2016.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

ED Hardy Outlet http://www.edhardypopsale.com

Coach Outlet Store Online http://www.coachstoreonline.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.in.net

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordansretro.us.com

Michael Kors Outlet Store http://www.michaelkorsoutletsstores.us.com

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurses.eu.com

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutlet2016.us.com

Tory Burch Shoes http://www.toryburch-outlet.us.org

Longchamp Outlet http://www.longchampoutlet.in.net

Michael Kors Handbags http://www.innnov8.com

Coach Outlet http://www.innnovate.com

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoes.us.org

Moncler Jackets http://www.monclerdownjackets.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northfacestoreoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.us.com

Moncler Outlet http://www.moncleroutletonline.in.net

Coach Factory http://www.maganates.com

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactorysoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katesapdeoutlet.us.org

Ray Ban Outlet http://www.raybanoutletstore.in.net

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoes2016.in.net

North Face Outlet http://www.northfaceoutlets.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachoutletstore.name

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.name

Coach Outlet http://www.coach-outlets.us.org

Nike Roshe Run http://www.tanie-nikerosherun.pl

Buty Nike Air Max http://www.airmaxsprzedazdla.pl

Nike Air Max http://www.nikeairmax.us.org

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoe.in.net

Christian Louboutin Outlet http://www.christianlouboutinoutlet.us.org

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciagaoutlets.us.com

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciagahandbag.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

Toms Shoes http://www.tomshoesoutlet.us.com

Hermes Belt http://www.hermesbelt.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradafactoryoutlet.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuittonsoutlet.us.com

North Face Outlet Store http://www.northfaceoutletstore.in.net

North Face Jackets http://www.north-face.in.net

North Face http://www.north-faceoutlets.us.com

Louis Vuitton Factory Outlet http://www.louisvuittonfactoryoutletstore.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuitton-outlets.us.org

Timberland Boots http://www.timberland-outlets.us.com

Cheap Timberland Boots http://www.timberlandoutlet.us.com

Tory Burch Outlet http://www.outlettoryburch.us.com

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutletusa.us.com

Ralph Lauren Outlet http://www.ralphlaurenstoreoutlet.us.com

Gucci Shoes http://www.guccifactoryoutlet.name

Gucci Outlet http://www.guccioutletco.us.com

North Face Jackets http://www.northfacefactoryoutlet.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradaoutlets.in.net

Hollister Clothing http://www.hollister-clothing.us.com

Ferragamo Shoes http://www.ferragamoshoes.us.org

Tiffany Jewelry http://www.tiffanyandcooutlet.name

Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffanycooutlet.us.com

NFL Jerseys http://www.nfljerseys.name

Toms Outlet http://www.outlettoms.us.com

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordans.eu.com

North Face Outlet http://www.thenorthfaceoutlet.us.org

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michael-korsoutletstores.us.com

Prada Handbags http://www.pradaoutlet.us.org

Chan Luu Sale http://www.chanluu.us.com

Toms Outlet http://www.tomsoutletstores.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.us.org

Beats By Dr Dre http://www.beatsbydrdre.us.org

Coach Outlet http://www.coachstoreoutlet.us.org

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoe.eu.com

Valentino Shoes http://www.valentinoshoes.eu.com

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutlet.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactoryoutlet.us.org

Coach Outlet Online http://www.coachoutletonlinestore.us.org

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurse.us.com

Get "Un-Stuck" and Search Away