Thursday, August 2, 2012

Don't Have a Cow!




For those of you outside of the US or living under a rock, there has been a huge uproar revolving around the fast food chain, Chik-Fil-A and the owner’s comments that he believes in the “traditional family”. It has inspired many debates about gay rights, freedom of speech and one’s right to choose where he or she spends money. It has also done a fine job of perpetuating the false stereotype that all Southern people are ignorant and tied down by their religious preferences. However, it has done nothing against disproving the stereotype that we get really pissed off when you bring fried chicken into a debate.

I think we need to look at it from both sides. So, let’s start with the Christian, more Conservative stance. It needs to be said that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not agreeing with gay marriage. Just like there is nothing wrong with being against abortion or women’s pant suits. If you honestly feel that two people coming together in a legal union to express their love for one another is somehow going to impinge upon your rights then, by God, you are right to be against it. However, please stop arguing that homosexual unions will ruin the sanctity of marriage. Newt Gingrich did that by cheating on a sick wife, Britney Spears deleted that sentiment by marrying some guy for 48 hours in Las Vegas and many of you scandalous fools on my Facebook fail to remember your promiscuous pasts as you quote scripture on Facebook. On a personal note, God doesn't have a Facebook account, so if someone doesn't hit "like" on a photo of Jesus saving a lamb, they are not going to go to hell.


(Holy Cow!)

You see, Chik-Fil-A tends to miss the mark a bit when it comes to supporting its’ opinion. Not because they are a faith-based organization expressing religious views but rather because they donate money to anti-gay causes. Spewing hatred, rather directly or through your money, is not the sort of Christianity that I want to believe in. However, if supporting this cause is your thing, please do it through other means rather than purchasing an over-priced chicken sandwich that has that one lingering pickle that you’ll end up tossing out of the window anyways. I just will never get over people rallying around a freaking chicken sandwich! That's like saying, "I am against sanctions in Iran! Therefore, I have given up Hostess Snack Cakes!" It makes no sense.

Now, we venture to the other side of things, where we have those raging against the Conservative agenda. You need to take a deep breath, turn off whatever episode you are watching of “The Real Housewives…” franchise and realize that not everyone is going to love the gays. And, that is ok. Many people are averse to glitter, good fashion sense and damn good pop music and that is their right. So, just because someone says that they are for a “traditional family”, it doesn’t mean that they hate you. Unless of course they donate money to an organization that wishes you were dead and then, they do hate you.

So, for every person who disagrees with Chik-Fil-A’s affiliations, you have the right to simply turn your head away as you drive past and a whiff of those delectable waffle fries fills the car. You may stop and think that no one is looking but stay strong because your moral fiber is now hanging on a delicate balance that could easily be tipped by a warm chicken biscuit dipped in just the right amount of honey.

When you put all of this into perspective, it really is silly. The US economy is tanking, jobless rates are through the roof and Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West. Obviously, there are bigger fish or, in this case, chickens to fry. Why people sit around and contemplate others peoples’ home lives, I will never understand. I have to be honest, I have never once laid in my bedroom and pondered if the people next to me were gay or straight or if they were in a committed, loving relationship or not. Sure, we had just had a raucous three-way but their relationship status was none of my business. I just wanted them to hurry up and leave, so that I could eat more chicken.

I see both sides of the coin and on some level, I support both sides. So, let's agree to disagree. Let’s extend an olive branch coated in yummy chicken grease, America. Sure, it may be hard to hold on to but just like bringing both sides together, it just takes a little bit of effort and a combined love of lard. So, come on, let’s all get together, eat some fried chicken and join greasy hands as we sing in unison. Is that so much to ask, America?




(Hey Cow Hey!)

And, don't forget to "like" me on Facebook - just remember, WWJD? Or, follow me on Twitter.






13 comments:

ava said...

I love it. Could not of said it better. I always love your opinions on how you view things.

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