Sunday, July 31, 2011

"...regrets and mistakes, they're memories made, who would have known how bittersweet this would taste..."

Have you ever just woken up and realized that most people on this planet annoy you? I think that I am a nice guy but I also think that most people are idiots. I try and try to break this thought process but it has been engrained in me since childhood. Neither of my parents have much ability to suffer fools and I have, quite rightly, inherited that trait from both of them.

Throughout my life, I have always had friends but very few people that I would consider close to me and I realize that that is because I cannot deal with the crazy that people bring with them. I know, I know...I sound like a jerk but in this moment, I am one. I am addicted to Facebook just as much as the next person but I am overwhelmed with what some people put on there in order to make themselves seem better than the people around them! Get over yourself! You aren't that special, none of us are.

In our Western mentality, we grow up thinking we are princes and princesses who are somehow entitled to a life that we didn't do anything to have. The third world belongs to those people "over there" who aren't civilized and we are high and mighty. Uhhhh, NO! We are lucky based on geography and should be thankful everyday!

I have no reason to post this blog beyond that fact that I am ranting and hey, that is good enough for me. I just am annoyed with the world lately and wanted to share it. Now, with that said, I will read this blog in 2 days and be annoyed with myself. Ahhhh, self loathing is cyclical too!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

"...well, sometimes I go out, by myself, and I look across the water..."

Sometimes in life, you need a little adventure. A little kick to the system to make you realize that all of the hard work, effort and complaining can finally be put to the side and you get to have an experience that makes it all worthwhile. Recently, I did just that by treating myself to a trip to Indonesia and Singapore and I realized again how lucky I am to be able to have these adventures.

As I arrived to Bali, the heat was intense. In the airport at Customs, there are signs everywhere that say, “Bringing Drugs to Indonesia results in PRISON and DEATH!” Now, I tend to suffer with the low self esteem but I am sure that I am too pretty for prison. Could you imagine? Me, sleeping on a concrete floor in the middle of Asia? So, needless to say, I didn’t even pack floss because I thought it would be mistaken for string-cocaine. I a’int playing!

So, in Bali, I had one of my greater adventures that didn’t include embarrassing myself. I had the opportunity to climb a volcano during the middle of the night to watch the sun rise from the top. It was truly one of the most difficult things that I have ever done but with a little self-delusion and peer pressure, I made it. The view was amazing. The clouds were below us and you could see more islands in the distance. It’s a moment in which you realize what life is all about; the simple pleasures like seeing the sun rise. Now, after those 5 seconds ended, I realized that I had to trek down that volcano and I became bitter and twisted again. Such is life.

On the way back from the volcano, we stopped in an area called Ubud and went to a monkey temple. There were hundreds of wild, rabies-infested monkeys all over and it was great. They pounced on me and sure, I may now be rapid but as long as I got a good picture than I am ok. One thing that I did learn there is that monkeys have a lot of sex. Not a little but a lot. I saw more fornicating monkeys in one day than I have in my entire life (Side Note: I have only ever spent one day looking at fornicating monkeys). Hear no evil, speak no evil, see lots of monkey humping.

Per usual, I had an awkward experience when I went to get a massage. It is so cheap there, $15 dollars for a full body massage for an hour and a half. What I didn't realize is that in Asia, you have to leave your sense of dignity behind. The woman made me put on a speedo-like pair of underwear that was see-through. I was mortified and covered myself with a towel and then she comes in the room and OH NO, I am not allowed to keep the towel on. So, there in the middle of Bali was me and my free willy humiliated. She kept saying, "OH GOD YOU SO BIG!" but maybe I imagined that part. Just as an FYI, I am sure it is not a good sign when someone sees you naked and then giggles like a challenged school girl. I was not amused but alas, I walked out of there with my see-through speedos on and my head held high.

Now, after Bali, the journey continued on to Singapore. I have to be honest that Singapore was never in my sights but I did thoroughly enjoy it. There weren’t any fornicating monkeys but hey, you can’t win them all, right? Singapore can be summed up as “sterile.” It’s clean, pristine and it feels like it is in the middle of one big, hot bubble. The humidity is ridiculous. I was sweating more than Amy Winehouse at a Customs line in Bali (Update: RIP Amy).

So, there you have it. My little adventure. As always, I am amazed with the experiences that I get to have because for a normal boy from Pensacola, Florida this a’int so normal! This journey is done but there are more in the planning phase. Where will I go next? Definitely somewhere where there is less monkey fornication or more, depends on my mood.




(Singapore in the background.)



(Mama Monkey and her baby.)



(A monkey trying to get my banana. Awkward.)



(On top of Mount Batur, after climbing for 3 hours in the dark.)



(Sentosa Island, Singapore with the famous Merlion behind me.)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

"...if we were our rejections, if we were our outcomes, I'd be joining you..."

You know, Facebook is magic. You can re-connect with old friends, make new ones or just stalk the hell out of people for no apparent reason. It is the ultimate past time. However, it can also create a sense of nostalgia that doesn't always resonate in a positive way.

I was recently Facebook stalking an unnamed relative and when I saw pictures of him/her, it was as if I never knew this person. He/She is such a distant part of my life that I had no connection to the images. It was as if I were looking at photos of a complete stranger. It made me feel weird. There's no bad blood, no event that changed emotions towards one another, there is just nothing. The connection existed in a time gone by.

How does this happen? I mean, it is life, I guess. A cyclical process in which people come and go. Some people stay around for a month, some a year and some forever but with family that seems odd. If I am being honest and I mean no disrespect to anyone, the term family should never just apply to people that share a bloodline. I know that this may sound cruel but I have had virtual strangers care about me more than people that I share genetic code with and it makes me sad sometimes but what can I do?

I just think that within all families, the effort to keep connected has been lost with the false sense of a hectic lifestyle. We are all too busy doing mindless things to care about each other anymore. I am not saying that I am innocent, I'm on the other side of the world, so I am culpable too.

Oh well. There is the ponder of the day. Now, with all of that out of the system, I will soon be riding a real elephant on the mean streets of Bali. Maybe not on the streets and let's hope that they aren't mean but nonetheless, an elephant ride is in my future. This Saturday, my Indonesian/Singaporean adventure takes flight. Because I lack emotion until an event actually arrives, I am not excited but by next Friday night, I will be bursting at the seams. Let's do this!

Monday, July 4, 2011

"...thank God I found the good in goodbye..."



Recently, I hit the 2 1/2 year mark of living in Australia. It seems surreal still and I know that I mention it often but I just can't believe it. It's funny...the other day, I was walking down the street and I smelled something and it was just the smell of the city but it reminded me of my first week here when I would walk around. Everything smelled so new and exciting. It was a breath of fresh air. A new chance at a new life. I am the same me but in a very different place, geographically and emotionally. My life has gone from a dream to a reality.


Lately, I have been enjoying random adventures around the city because too many times in life, I have let things pass me by and I am over that. So, over the past couple of weeks I have re-explored Taronga Zoo and this past weekend, I went to a koala sanctuary. The zoo is one of the most amazing just based on scenery. It could never been accurately described in words. The koala sanctuary can be described as...failure. It was shabby and a bit tattered. However, the key adventure there was that I saw a Mama Kangaroo with her joey in her pouch with his head sticking out. Also, my finger was almost mutilated by a bird.


I was standing next to her cage and she jumped up and perched her head out to be petted. I did so and she held her claw out to grab my finger. She did so gently and I obliged and then BAM! That bird brain clamped down on my finger and then violated me with her mouth. It was a betrayal of trust and innocence and I will forever remember her face. I may have said a few cuss words in front of some children and blood may have gushed from my finger but it made for a great memory.


Within the next two weeks, I will take my first trip to Asia. I am going to Indonesia (Bali) and Singapore. I am excited but a little bit nervous. Bali has had some terrorist attacks in the past and I am not really down with shrapnel, so I am going to wear a bullet proof vest and prayer card. However, I think it is going to be amazing and I hope to explore some temples and see monkeys with rabies. For Singapore, I just want to see what it has to offer and eat some good food. I am looking forward to being a little removed with no phone or internet. I need a break from communication and I want to find a beach and an elephant and ride it.






(Me in my penguin costume.)






(You will never find a better view than from Sydney Harbour.)


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