Monday, April 11, 2011

"...oh well, I don't mind if you don't mind and I don't shine if you don't shine..."

The cool, crispness of the air has taken over the Sydney night and with Winter lurking around the corner, the streets get darker earlier and earlier. As the Northern Hemisphere plummets into Summer, down here...we are barreling into Winter. It is always odd to me to think of July as Winter, it seems unnatural. It isn't a part of the Lord's plan but alas, here we go.

You know, sometimes I wonder if I am neurotic by birth or by upbringing. Is it nature versus nurture? Some people seemingly go through life without a thought in their head, ever. However, I will analyze something until my face turns blue. I will think and think and think and then think about why I am thinking so much. I have always been paranoid. This is no lie that even as a child, I had a kidnap awareness plan. If someone were to kidnap me, I had watched enough episodes of "Rescue 911" and "Unsolved Mysteries" to figure out how to get myself out of a situation. I also made plans on how I would make my captors disarmed by charming them with a few "knock knock" jokes and then as they held their stomachs in laughter, I would run for the door and make a speedy escape. Of course, my story would be featured on the local news and then later on Oprah as my book was released in conjunction with the Lifetime movie based on my Mother's desire to get me home. "My Baby Done Went Missing" would be the title. My Mom would be played by Heather Locklear and me, as the precocious kidnapped child, would have been one of Macaulay Culkin's younger siblings. Macaulay would have been too costly for a Lifetime movie.

The thing is, I can't control it. I am neurotic. So, I guess that I need to own it. I need to let Jesus take the wheel and keep the crazy at bay. Somehow, my neurosis are a part of my charm and my charm is a manifestation of delusion. I think people either think that I am pathetic or amusing, or amusingly pathetic. But, I am ok with that.

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