Wednesday, March 30, 2011

"...'cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do..."

As the rain trickles outside of my window and I can hear the sweet bellows of a cat in heat, I have decided to write a blog. This week at work, we switched offices and I moved from out in the boonies to a city office. The first day was a bit tough for me. While I consider myself to be adaptable, I am a creature of habit and for the past nearly two years, I was in the same office. Now, I have moved to the city and I am adapting. It is a beautiful location with harbour views from basically any seat in the house. So, I can't complain (even though, I normally do complain about something.)

The Autumn season is kicking off "down under" and you can feel the crispness in the air. It's my favorite time of year and I know that within the next, few weeks I will begin to complain about being too cold because it is sort of my thing that I like to do. On a random note, as opposed to all of my other notes that are completely coherent and sensible, I want to point out that I have dubbed myself as one of the clumsiest people that I know. I trip, slip or run into stuff far too often. I think that I have a nervous personality or either I pay little attention to anything that I am doing. I was worrying about it recently and then I realized that I have always done it. Awkwardness finds me wherever I go. I'd like to say that I don't want it in my life but being awkward makes the time go by just a bit quicker.

On the 4th of April, my baby brother turns 17. I remember when he used to sit in his carseat and laugh when I would sing "Lion King" songs to him. Then, he went through a phase when I wasn't cool and now, I think he is coming around a bit. He's my boy. I remember the moment that we knew he was going to enter this world. I wrote him a note that said something like, "For all I know, you could be the devil but I love you anyways." Sometimes, I think I am psychic.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"...I just want to set you on fire, so I won't have to burn alone..."

I recently found out that I am going to be an uncle. This news didn't surprise me and it didn't, originally, make me happy. I wasn't sad or mad or anything like that, I just felt like the timing was off. But, who am I to determine what is the "right time" for anyone to do anything in life?

This week, I got a call during the middle of the night from my Mom and when I woke up, I checked my voicemail and she said, "It's going to be a boy!" and I have to admit, there was an instant bolt of joy to the heart. Not because it is a little boy but just because it made it feel real. He's here, he's coming. There is a little life brewing that has all the potential in the world and I want to be a part of shaping it.

Everyone enters this world with a set of circumstances but we don't have to be defined by those forever. We can forge our own way, design a path that we never could have seen ourselves walking down. So, even though he has quite a bit of time before he arrives, I am already eagerly anticipating the arrival of little Gabriel Michael.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"...and in this crazy life and through these crazy times..."

The beauty and the panic of life is that it is random. We truly never know what is around the next corner for us and no matter what we plan, life will always take the reins and lead us where we are ultimately meant to be. I experienced that in a couple of ways recently and the photo below featuring the lovely, little Chantal is proof. Two weeks ago, I was randomly walking down the street with the two ladies featured in the photo below and we were discussing people of shorter stature and out of nowhere, like an angel from heaven, little Chantal sauntered up and asked me for directions. Irony, thy name is Chantal. Anyways, she was going to the same place that we were, so we all got on the bus and had a chat with her. She was carrying a huge bag, so when the time came to exit the bus, I carried it for her and we got her to her spot and dropped her off. We said our "goodbyes" and were grateful for the short (no pun intended) time that we had with Chantal.

Fast forward through two non-descript, uneventful weeks and lo and behold, I end up in a club. There I am re-enacting my favorite boy band dance moves through a series of pelvic gyrations and hand claps and out of the mist of the cigarette infused air walks Chantal. Like a lightning bolt to the heart, I stood frozen in a state of pure zeal and extreme confusion. How could God bless me twice in one life with Chantal? She waltzed up and looked me in the knee, errr eye and said, "OH MY GOD! It's you!" Yes, Chantal, it's me and here we are together again.

In those moments of randomness, life remains amusing. I suppose that that leads me to my next point. Someone recently told me that my blog themes tend to be inconsistent with how I present myself in public. My blog is much more solemn and deep and I tend to be light-hearted and stable in person. For me, I am all of those things at different times of every day. We all are. We are all fragments of a series of emotions. I am never false. What I feel is here written for you in the moment that it is felt. I don't conjure up a sentiment to connect with someone if I don't feel it. I run the gamut of highs and lows. I am bi-polar without the medicine or Charlie Sheen's paycheck. I didn't take offense to what the person said but I thought it was a unique observation. If we sit back and think about all of our thoughts in any given day, I am sure that we all go on a mental roller coaster or maybe I remain delusional.

(Chantal - You will always be my boo!)

(Leila Khaidooooooo back in SYD!)

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