Thursday, May 27, 2010

"'re always going to be the same, oh no, you'll never change..."

I realized today that May 27, 2010 marks 10 years since the day that I graduated high school. I don't know about most people but it feels like an eternity and yesterday all at the same time. I remember when Ms. Stewart called my name at graduation and she goes, "Edward Christopher McCombs". I thought, "what the F*#$, woman! She got my name wrong!"

It's funny if you try to forget all of the events that have molded you since and go back to that mindset. To think about what dreams and goals you had. Did you want to go to college? Did you feel devastated that it was all over or were you finally free? The one thing that was so amazingly important to me was to realize that I didn't want to peak to soon. I never wanted to be the cool kid and thank God for bucktooth teeth, acne, and arms that belong attached to a 4 year old girl or else I could have been a football star.

I remember one person in particular, who was a "football star". He blurted out, during a presentation in English class, something about my nose and its' size. Well, for starters, and to quote a good friend, "big nose, big hose" and secondly, I Facebook-stalked this person and he looks like a 58 year old convict from his profile photo. So, put a fork in it, it's done! I win, mofo!

Anyways, I felt awkward, shy, panicked, lame and that was just yesterday! Imagine how bad it was 10 years ago? In high school, I always remember that I talked about Australia and how I wanted to visit. Well, here I am. So, I guess that makes me a success. I may not have invented the Post-It or been cast for the next season of "Jersey Shore" but I'd say I have turned out alright.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

"...the fire fades away, most of everyday, is full of tired excuses, but it's too hard to say..."

Look at me, I have on a dumb hat! I never wear hats and that is because my head is abnormally disproportionate but as 2010 is the year of making myself do things that make me panic, I had to do it. Judge away, I am ok with it! The rain and Winter have arrived full force in Sydney and since heating is not standard in homes, it has allowed me plenty of time to whine and complain in my own head about how cold it is. For the past two weeks or so, I have been super sick. A cold of epic proportion knocked me out. It happens to me a lot here in Australia and I am becoming used to being the "defective" one. Today, I meandered through the city with my adopted Beecroft family and it was good to see them. They offered for me to join them on a trip to China towards the end of the year, so that just may be a possibility. I'd love to explore China, so we will see. In two weeks, I will make my triumphant return to the "land of the free" for a quick visit in which I will eat everything from gallons of Dr. Pepper to white cake to Whataburger hamburgers. I will then sit in a large chair with my gut overhanging my pants and breathe in the sweet smell of freedom. I'm coming home, America! Below, please check out my quick video of my Fijian adventure. I like to be pathetic and look like a fool in public, so I whipped out the camera and did just that in a beautiful, tropical land. Enjoy.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

"...let the world keep turning, 'cause I'll be standing still, and the Earth feels closer to heaven, just because you're here..."

I have been plagued by panic, insecurity, or whatever you want to call it for my entire life. However, I have always wanted to take an improv/acting class and get over my fear of public speaking. So, after avoiding it for several years, I made it a 2010 goal and completed my ten week course last night with a performance. Some of you may know that I have an infamous right hand that takes on a life of its' own when I am nervous. The first time that we had to practice alone in front of each other, I spazzed. My hand was waving so hard that people in China were feeling the breeze. I caused enough personal havoc that after 5 weeks in, I wanted to quit for the first time. But, alas...I stuck to it and pulled through. For our final performance, we were allowed to invite guests to watch us but even though I had some gracious co-workers who wanted to attend, I decided to go it alone. I took the class for me, I panicked for me, I cried in the shower for me (not really). So, I needed to perform for me. It wasn't about whether I was good or not, it was about me getting up there and proving to myself that fear does not always win! Sometimes, we have to take that leap and see where we land. It was a great experience and to be honest, it happened so quick and I was in such a weird frame of mind that I barely remember doing it. I just went with it. The funniest part for me was afterwards when an audience member came up to say "good work" and I said "thank you" and he responded with, "Oh, you really have an American accent!" I wish I could do an Aussie one because then I would have just played it off as if I were a genius with accents but no luck. The nicest part of this class though is the residual benefit of spending the last 10 weeks getting to know some really great and interesting people. My personal success hinged on a group success, as well because we all grew together and really wanted each other to succeed. So, what's next? I have decided to take the plunge and sign up for the level two course that starts in a month! Let's see how it goes! And scene.

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