Friday, December 11, 2009

"...times have changed and times are strange, here I come but I a'int the same, Mama I'm coming home..."

339 days ago, I boarded a plane. I had quit my job, I sold my stuff, and I packed a bag. I was heading to Australia, somewhere that I had wanted to be for my entire life. I wanted to push myself and to see if I could make it on my own, far from home. Looking back, I do not have the perspective that I need just yet because it is all too fresh. I am still in the mix of it all but one day, I want to look back and realize that on paper, what I did was crazy but in the grand scheme of life, it was pretty amazing. People like me do not get to have experiences like this. I'm not pampered or spoiled but I am determined. I decided that I was going to control my circumstances, not anyone else or some idealized concept of what life "should be". So, I guess a fair question to ask is, "Do you still feel 'stuck'?" The answer is yes. I will always strive for more. I will grow and evolve and hope that I can achieve some existence greater than the current one that I have. But, I can safely say that the me leaving Australia is less panicked and less worried about every aspect of life. Australia has been like boot camp. It has broken me down, built me up, and it is shipping me off as a better person. I really feel like there is not one thing in life that I can't handle after this year. So, I remain "stuckatseven" but I've decided that I will never change it. Instead, I will adapt to my inadequacies and move forward. This journey has meant everything to me and to everyone who has read the blog and kept up with me, thank you. I guess now we all have to ask, "What's next?" I don't know but I'm ready!


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