Sunday, December 27, 2009

"...I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me..."

From Sydney to San Fran to Dallas to Pensacola. My journey home was a long one. It is funny how your life can be completely transported. I woke up in Sydney and after a few flights, I arrived home where everything was the same. It is like life teleported me to some other place and then dropped me right back in the middle of things. The big news is that I am returning to Sydney. My job in Sydney liked me enough to ask me to return. So, return I will. I am excited to go back and nervous all at the same time. It's weird. I didn't really expect that it would pan out for some reason. I found out within a couple weeks of my departure that this was an option but for it to be a reality is surreal. I take it as a huge compliment. I guess that my former boss in ATL had beaten me down so much mentally that I was lacking self-esteem. Since my arrival, I have seen a lot of relatives that I haven't seen in a while and it has been good. I have eaten like a pig and slept more than I thought possible. It is pretty odd to think that a year ago at this time, I was sitting in my apartment in Atlanta, packing up my life for an adventure in Australia and here I sit, going back. One decision is like a domino effect, whether it be a positive decision or negative. One thing happens and then life plays out. Odd.

(Me and Cousin Christopher)

(Me and Cousins Branson and Parker)

(Me, Brother Andrew, Dad, Mom, and Brother Joe)

(Me and Cousins Ava and Christopher)

Friday, December 11, 2009

"...times have changed and times are strange, here I come but I a'int the same, Mama I'm coming home..."

339 days ago, I boarded a plane. I had quit my job, I sold my stuff, and I packed a bag. I was heading to Australia, somewhere that I had wanted to be for my entire life. I wanted to push myself and to see if I could make it on my own, far from home. Looking back, I do not have the perspective that I need just yet because it is all too fresh. I am still in the mix of it all but one day, I want to look back and realize that on paper, what I did was crazy but in the grand scheme of life, it was pretty amazing. People like me do not get to have experiences like this. I'm not pampered or spoiled but I am determined. I decided that I was going to control my circumstances, not anyone else or some idealized concept of what life "should be". So, I guess a fair question to ask is, "Do you still feel 'stuck'?" The answer is yes. I will always strive for more. I will grow and evolve and hope that I can achieve some existence greater than the current one that I have. But, I can safely say that the me leaving Australia is less panicked and less worried about every aspect of life. Australia has been like boot camp. It has broken me down, built me up, and it is shipping me off as a better person. I really feel like there is not one thing in life that I can't handle after this year. So, I remain "stuckatseven" but I've decided that I will never change it. Instead, I will adapt to my inadequacies and move forward. This journey has meant everything to me and to everyone who has read the blog and kept up with me, thank you. I guess now we all have to ask, "What's next?" I don't know but I'm ready!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

"...I want to be a hunter again, I want to see the world alone again..."

Yesterday, I took a day trip to the Hunter Valley which is about 2 hours north of Sydney. The Hunter Valley is beautiful but it was the most boring tour I have ever been on. First of all, the tour guide never shut his mouth. Not even for one second. He talked and talked and then talked about how people told him that he talked too much. He also kept mentioning how bad his marriage was and, as a direct quote, he said, "Some warm milk and a cookie can give me a woody quicker than my wife." Awkward. The wineries were nice, I guess but I do not like wine or drink all that much, so it was only a sight-seeing tour for me. Also, I got really car sick. So, that was my final Saturday adventure in Oz. Now, I am ready to go home. I just have to get through this work week and Friday afternoon, I am on the plane and on my way!

(Overlooking the Mountain View winery)

(@ a winery in the Hunter Valley)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

"...well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me..."

The time has come for me to go home soon and I am ready. What am I ready for? I am ready for my Mom to make me food. I am ready for my Dad to tell some lame joke and then poke me in the side because he knows that it pisses me off. I am ready for my brother Joe, to pretend that I don't exist and then lovingly call me a douche bag. I am ready for my brother, Andrew to try and act like he doesn't love me and then, when his friends aren't looking, give me a hug. I am ready to drive my car and listen to music. I am ready to see my dog and have him urinate on himself, with excitement,when I walk in the front door. I am ready to watch TV. I am ready to feel a sense of normalcy that I lack here. I am ready to sleep in a familiar bed. I am ready to go home! I love Australia and it has been an amazing experience but in this moment, I just need a break. A break back to normal. This year has been amazing. Some people write to me and say that I seem different and happier here than I ever was before and I don't know that that is true but I do know that I have taken leaps here in regards to trying to live life a little less planned. I've had adventures that I never expected and been to places that I really never thought I would see. Inevitably, an experience like this changes you and I feel that I walk away from it the same person but with different perspectives. I guess that time will tell how Australia has molded me but in the meantime, next Friday, I have a 42 hour trek back home to Pensacola and I am ready.
(The windiest day that I have experienced in Sydney)

(The wind knocked me down or I am searching for gold, you choose)

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