(Finally, I am the wierdo on the train for once!)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
"...sending positivity, crossed the globe and seven seas..."
This week I had a realization and it made me feel kind of weird. I have had to travel to the other side of the world and leave behind my "normal" life in order to feel some sort of happiness that I never allowed myself to feel before. I know that it sounds strange and I don't mean it in a bad way but I never relaxed at home. I worked two jobs and went to the gym six days a week and was busy and bored all at the same time. I stressed about money, I stressed about being responsible and doing what was right and I have let my guard down a little. When people ask me to go somewhere, I go. For "normal" people this may make no sense but for me, it is all a learning and growing experience. I came here for this and to push myself to a new level. I guess that I had to prove to me that I could go somewhere far from everything that I knew and make it and I have. I'm not being boastful, it is just how I feel at this moment. I have dreamed of coming and living in Australia since I can remember and to be in the midst of it is surreal, unreal, and everything in between. If I walk away from this experience with one thing, it is patience and the ability to take a look at a situation and realize that nothing is unattainable as long as you remain diligent and focused. Last year, at this time, was a low point in life for me and my entire family and to be here one year later seems amazing. I am trying to track this journey as much as possible because never in life do I want to be sitting down and feeling sorry for myself because I did this and I made this happen on my own. I read an interesting article today in a magazine and it said about how when life gets us down, we can focus on the negative or aim for the positive and the hope that comes with it. I never subscribed to that kind of logic but maybe that is what has kept me down. No more and I have to stick to it. It seems like so many people that I know or so many people in my family do not realize the potential that they have and that has been a huge fear of mine. Not realizing that there is more to life than just the hum drum of everyday. I remember in high school people were talking about what they wanted to be or do and I had two thoughts in my head 1.) to live and work in Australia and 2.) to not lead a mediocre life. I have #1 down. Let's see how the rest goes...