Thursday, May 28, 2009

"...a good boy, but good don't get attention, one kid with a promise, the brightest kid in school, he's not a fool..."

Ok, so one serious issue and then the light-hearted stuff. First of all, I just got a call that I have had my identity stolen. Now, I get it. Most people want to be me but I would appreciate it if those people did not run up almost $10,000 worth of debt on a credit card with my name! My whole life, I have been financial responsible and in one instance, some bastard in Decatur, Georgia has tainted it. I have called all my credit cards, put a warning on my credit reports, and will call the Credit Bureau when they open in the morning. So, if anyone has experience with this, please contact me and give me some tips! Ok, now on the to awkward sex chat that took place at the dinner table. So, the 11 year old daughter of the family that I live with was at the kitchen table with her Mom, and I joined them to eat my dinner. Out of nowhere, the little girl goes, "Mom, what's a blow job?". At that point, I died a little on the inside. The Mom tip toes around the subject, so the little girl changes questions and then asks about sex. So, the Mom gives a nice explanation but this little girl wasn't having it. She wanted to know the down and dirty. So, she goes, "What is a (rhymes with HUNT)?" Again, a part of me died. This lead the mother, who by the way is Chinese and has great use of English but the slang words that she uses for genitals are awkward, to go off about how, and I quote, "A 'big willy' goes inside the girl's 'book' and meets the egg". WHAT!??!?!?! The little girl then ask, "Does sex hurt?" and the Mom says, "Only if you want it to!" AHHHHH!?!??!?! It then spiraled into a discussion on STD's and AIDS, etc. but the story got worse when the little girl said, "Mom, what other kinds of sex are there?" And I thought, "OHHHH HELL NO!" Then the Mom does a jerking motion with her hand and says, "Oh you know, the hand sex!" I said, "Uhhh, what?" She said, "In China, we call it 'shootin' the airplane'!" And I thought, "What the hell?! Are you a hi-jacker? Why are you shooting an airplane?!" So, she said to me, "What do Americans call it?" And I said, "Are you talking about a handjob?" And the little girl goes, "Oh, so like a handjob and a blowjob are like work?" I then had to exit. It was all too much. There were also many other really, surprisingly crude questions from the 11 year old but I can't bring myself to type it. I guess the Aussie kids are advanced with their questioning here.

8 comments:

Sarah Meets Sydney said...

so sorry about the identity theft thing!!!...still made me laugh about the sex chat, hahaah!! oh edmundddd!

Alicia said...

That really sucks about the identity theft! Sorry...hope u get it all sorted out! But, the sex chat was hilarious...thoroughly enjoyed it, lol. Thank you! ; )

Michelle said...

LMAO, a-w-k-w-a-r-d!!!

Tia said...

This is some info I got by email recently about Lost or Stolen Wallet. May help you. That stinks. Sorry to hear.

Call put a fraud alert on your name

Equifax 1-800-525-6285
Experian 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union 1-800-680-7289
Social Securtiy Admin Fraud Line1-800-269-0271
Credit Card Company
File Police Report

Tia

Melanie said...

That bites the big one! Hope everything works out with the ID theft. You're probably right about mail going to your old apt. Some people really suck.

The sex chat, WTH?!?! I can't believe the mom didn't spare you by asking the girl to wait til after dinner or something. Geez. Too bad you didn't record it. ;-)

Beautiful pics, BTW!! I'm still catching up on things.

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