Thursday, May 28, 2009
"...a good boy, but good don't get attention, one kid with a promise, the brightest kid in school, he's not a fool..."
Monday, May 25, 2009
"...'cause we got the beat that bounce, we got the beat that pound, we got the beat that 808, that the boom, boom in your town..."
As most of you know, I quit my job a couple of weeks ago and it was the best decision that I could have made. While the job hunt is a pain, the level of relief that I have felt over the past couple of weeks has been great. I, kind of, feel like I wanted to feel here. A little less worrisome and having the time and ability to just relax. If relaxing is possible for me. The day after I quit my job, I actually interviewed for a new job and was hired but then for some freak of nature reason, they called and said that they were in a hiring freeze. I followed up last week and good news, I start tomorrow. Now, the job may be lame but I am taking it on and making it work. I will only be working part time, so that I can try and enjoy Australia more! The past couple of weeks, I have been working on a side project (work-related stuff) that will be revealed soon. I am excited about it and am grateful to have been brought on board. I think that it has great potential and I will be excited for everyone to take a look at it when it launches. I, also, have been going around and showing some new Americans in Sydney the town. Sue, Bryan, and Sarah all arrived within a week of each other and I had been helping them with tips about Sydney via Facebook, so it was good to meet up and tour the town together. Today, I explored the area of Sydney called Manly and it was nice. It was the first nice weather day in a week, so I wanted to make sure to get out and enjoy it. It is a laid back beach place on the North Shore of the city and you get there via a ferry, which was a bit rocky today and I felt the sea sickness coming but I maintained. Now, I am back at home and getting ready to fall asleep for my first day of work at the new job. I need to warn you that I may have a post about how I hate this job soon because that is how I like to do things.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
"...she believes that life is made up of all that you're used to, and the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days and days..."
Holy sweet baby Jesus. My whole life, I have suffered from insomnia but it just did the 1, 2 step all over my damn face tonight. I can not fall asleep. Not anywhere even close to falling asleep. I could run a marathon right now and then go save refugees being smuggled across a border somewhere. People always tell me that I shouldn't take pills in order to go to sleep. Well, that is why I don't listen to people! If I don't take something, I stay awake for days and days like a crackhead. Now, tomorrow is shot because I will be passed out like Amy Winehouse on a concert stage. True story. I made the above video under the influence of tired.
Monday, May 11, 2009
In Atlanta, I worked a lot. 2 jobs, 7 days a week. I would work and work and work and always felt like I was doing it for some reason. I would work to the point that I would sacrifice any sort of happiness because it was all about adding another dollar to the pile. So, when I came here, my goal was to change that and to find some semblance of happiness and I did, for a while. However, the job that I took has sucked any joy out of me that remained. I woke up this morning, wavering on what to do. Should I quit? Is that responsible? What about how my boss will feel? I was in a panic and broke out into a rash because I like to outwardly show my inner chaos! And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me that the only choice was for me to quit, 100%. The decision was made easier when at work today, my boss discussed even more changes and basically, it comes down to me quitting first or being laid off due to the company closing. I like to be in control, so I am done. You know, I am grateful for the job, don't get me wrong but the hardest lesson in all of this is that I let myself fall into my old trap. I self sacrifice. I always take on unnecessary guilt for other people's issues and that is something that I am going to have to get over. So, I am back to being jobless in Australia. Now, don't get me wrong. I will have 850 panic attacks this week but not one of them will happen in that damn office! So, I profess that I am reclaiming the sense of fun that I came here to have and I need anyone that I know to keep me in check and make sure that I do so. This was a big thing for me to do but it had to be done! My Mom asked me what I was going to do tomorrow and I said, "I will wake up and look for a new job." and she told me to "shut up and have fun!" Oh, let's hope I can!