Thursday, May 28, 2009

"...a good boy, but good don't get attention, one kid with a promise, the brightest kid in school, he's not a fool..."

Ok, so one serious issue and then the light-hearted stuff. First of all, I just got a call that I have had my identity stolen. Now, I get it. Most people want to be me but I would appreciate it if those people did not run up almost $10,000 worth of debt on a credit card with my name! My whole life, I have been financial responsible and in one instance, some bastard in Decatur, Georgia has tainted it. I have called all my credit cards, put a warning on my credit reports, and will call the Credit Bureau when they open in the morning. So, if anyone has experience with this, please contact me and give me some tips! Ok, now on the to awkward sex chat that took place at the dinner table. So, the 11 year old daughter of the family that I live with was at the kitchen table with her Mom, and I joined them to eat my dinner. Out of nowhere, the little girl goes, "Mom, what's a blow job?". At that point, I died a little on the inside. The Mom tip toes around the subject, so the little girl changes questions and then asks about sex. So, the Mom gives a nice explanation but this little girl wasn't having it. She wanted to know the down and dirty. So, she goes, "What is a (rhymes with HUNT)?" Again, a part of me died. This lead the mother, who by the way is Chinese and has great use of English but the slang words that she uses for genitals are awkward, to go off about how, and I quote, "A 'big willy' goes inside the girl's 'book' and meets the egg". WHAT!??!?!?! The little girl then ask, "Does sex hurt?" and the Mom says, "Only if you want it to!" AHHHHH!?!??!?! It then spiraled into a discussion on STD's and AIDS, etc. but the story got worse when the little girl said, "Mom, what other kinds of sex are there?" And I thought, "OHHHH HELL NO!" Then the Mom does a jerking motion with her hand and says, "Oh you know, the hand sex!" I said, "Uhhh, what?" She said, "In China, we call it 'shootin' the airplane'!" And I thought, "What the hell?! Are you a hi-jacker? Why are you shooting an airplane?!" So, she said to me, "What do Americans call it?" And I said, "Are you talking about a handjob?" And the little girl goes, "Oh, so like a handjob and a blowjob are like work?" I then had to exit. It was all too much. There were also many other really, surprisingly crude questions from the 11 year old but I can't bring myself to type it. I guess the Aussie kids are advanced with their questioning here.

Monday, May 25, 2009

"...'cause we got the beat that bounce, we got the beat that pound, we got the beat that 808, that the boom, boom in your town..."

As most of you know, I quit my job a couple of weeks ago and it was the best decision that I could have made. While the job hunt is a pain, the level of relief that I have felt over the past couple of weeks has been great. I, kind of, feel like I wanted to feel here. A little less worrisome and having the time and ability to just relax. If relaxing is possible for me. The day after I quit my job, I actually interviewed for a new job and was hired but then for some freak of nature reason, they called and said that they were in a hiring freeze. I followed up last week and good news, I start tomorrow. Now, the job may be lame but I am taking it on and making it work. I will only be working part time, so that I can try and enjoy Australia more! The past couple of weeks, I have been working on a side project (work-related stuff) that will be revealed soon. I am excited about it and am grateful to have been brought on board. I think that it has great potential and I will be excited for everyone to take a look at it when it launches. I, also, have been going around and showing some new Americans in Sydney the town. Sue, Bryan, and Sarah all arrived within a week of each other and I had been helping them with tips about Sydney via Facebook, so it was good to meet up and tour the town together. Today, I explored the area of Sydney called Manly and it was nice. It was the first nice weather day in a week, so I wanted to make sure to get out and enjoy it. It is a laid back beach place on the North Shore of the city and you get there via a ferry, which was a bit rocky today and I felt the sea sickness coming but I maintained. Now, I am back at home and getting ready to fall asleep for my first day of work at the new job. I need to warn you that I may have a post about how I hate this job soon because that is how I like to do things.

(Me being a "rock" star - get it? "Rock star" - I'm on rocks - nevermind!)

(Taking the ferry back into the city!)

(Walkway to the water @ Manly Beach)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

"...she believes that life is made up of all that you're used to, and the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days and days..."

Holy sweet baby Jesus. My whole life, I have suffered from insomnia but it just did the 1, 2 step all over my damn face tonight. I can not fall asleep. Not anywhere even close to falling asleep. I could run a marathon right now and then go save refugees being smuggled across a border somewhere. People always tell me that I shouldn't take pills in order to go to sleep. Well, that is why I don't listen to people! If I don't take something, I stay awake for days and days like a crackhead. Now, tomorrow is shot because I will be passed out like Amy Winehouse on a concert stage. True story. I made the above video under the influence of tired.

Monday, May 11, 2009

"'s a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good..."

In Atlanta, I worked a lot. 2 jobs, 7 days a week. I would work and work and work and always felt like I was doing it for some reason. I would work to the point that I would sacrifice any sort of happiness because it was all about adding another dollar to the pile. So, when I came here, my goal was to change that and to find some semblance of happiness and I did, for a while. However, the job that I took has sucked any joy out of me that remained. I woke up this morning, wavering on what to do. Should I quit? Is that responsible? What about how my boss will feel? I was in a panic and broke out into a rash because I like to outwardly show my inner chaos! And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me that the only choice was for me to quit, 100%. The decision was made easier when at work today, my boss discussed even more changes and basically, it comes down to me quitting first or being laid off due to the company closing. I like to be in control, so I am done. You know, I am grateful for the job, don't get me wrong but the hardest lesson in all of this is that I let myself fall into my old trap. I self sacrifice. I always take on unnecessary guilt for other people's issues and that is something that I am going to have to get over. So, I am back to being jobless in Australia. Now, don't get me wrong. I will have 850 panic attacks this week but not one of them will happen in that damn office! So, I profess that I am reclaiming the sense of fun that I came here to have and I need anyone that I know to keep me in check and make sure that I do so. This was a big thing for me to do but it had to be done! My Mom asked me what I was going to do tomorrow and I said, "I will wake up and look for a new job." and she told me to "shut up and have fun!" Oh, let's hope I can!

Friday, May 1, 2009

"...did I ask too much, more than a lot, you gave me nothing, now that's all I got..."

In my life, I have known a lot of crazy but I have never known crazy like the crazy that is in my life right now. The above video will outline the awkwardness and chaos that has become a staple in my working life here in Australia. This week started off bad when on Sunday night I started running a fever and instantly diagnosed myself with the vicious swine flu. I went into full on hypochondriac mode. I thought, "I have swine flu. How did I get swine flu? Ok, on Saturday night, I had guacamole and guacamole is a Mexican dish, and swine flu started in Mexico, therefore I have swine flu!" It is like the 6 degrees of swine flu separation! I skipped out on work on Tuesday and took a rare, sick day because I just wasn't able to move out of bed. I lounged around the whole day and I think my body needed it because I have been on the upswing since then. When I went to the conference mentioned in the video, I had about 8 panic attacks and was walking down the street on my cell phone yelling the F word at anyone who would listen! My Mom remains proud. So, the job thing isn't working out and the days are numbered. I knew it would happen really but it is causing me to go into panic mode just a bit. It is a relief and a heartache all at once. From my short time there though, I have made some great friends with my co-workers, so if that is what I walk away with than it was worth it. Even though most days there, I have had to force myself from going into self-induced seizures.

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