Within the past two months, Australians have beaten out Americans as the fattest people on the planet! Damn it, I hate when we lose. Therefore, I need someone to send me a box full of Fun-yuns, Dr. Pepper, and donuts with sprinkles on them. Why sprinkles? Because I like sprinkles. What? Don’t you judge me. If you put sprinkles on ice cream, my world suddenly becomes filled with happiness and joy for no apparent reason. That’s a true story. Ok, on to other news. Today was my first Monday at the new job. I started last week but this week will make the first full week and I am so excited to have a job. I know for many of you that sounds lame but I like to work and this place seems like it will allow me to work hard and really do something. So far, so good. Right now, in my head, I am now trying to plan my first Aussie vacation. I know, I know. You are thinking, "This S.O.B. has been on vacation for two months now!" Technically, true but I was looking for a job that whole time and finally getting one, makes me need a weekend away! Where should I go? Tasmania, Perth, or Melbourne? Those are my first three picks! This past weekend, I went out with some of the people that I live with and none of them are native English speakers and we went to a Japanese restaurant where the servers were, of course, non-native English speakers and it was a comedy of errors. My head hurt so badly from translating English to English. After dinner, we went to a pub and let's just say that that was too odd for me. Watching people from Taiwan dance to Ludacris and trying to rap and then giggling incessantly. Awkward! I, also, love that when you don't speak a language natively, cuss words have no meaning to you. So, these people drop the F-bomb like it is nobody's business. It is always like this "Hi, Edamun, ware da F*#@ is da bafroom?" Also, WAIT...this is truly priceless, one of the kids who lives in this house is from China and he sometimes stands on the toilet to urinate. Yes, that's right, I said it. He stands on the seat and aims down. One day the bathroom looked like a can of Mountain Dew had exploded in it. Graphic, I know but we all need to learn from it. And scene.