Real talk time. This heat is getting to me. It is putting me into a bad mood and then topping it all off is the job hunt. Now, technically, I have only been jobless for five days because I worked remotely throughout January but I have been plugging away at this for a month now and I am growing bored with it all. I don't know what else I can do? So, I am just going to keep trying and let this journey work itself out. So, onto more thought provoking concepts. The other day, the Mom at the house where I am living was talking about how one of her daughters was being bullied at school and how she didn't want her to be insecure and it made me drift off into deep thought land. I was thinking about how every time we feel stupid, ugly, fat, unworthy, or any other negative emotion that it is because someone, at some point, told us that. Someone else let us know that we were not good enough. I don't believe that in life, I would have ever woken up and just looked in the mirror and bashed myself, if someone else hadn't done it for me already. I guess when having this thought, it kind of worked two ways. On one hand, we should never let others' perception of us hold us back. Even though stopping that emotion is probably the hardest thing to do. But, on the flip side, we need to always be aware of what we say and do to others because you may forget that moment but it can live on in someone's life for the rest of his/her life. I was thinking about a time in Middle School when someone was really mean to me and how I can recall his name, his face, the words he said, etc. but if I found him right now and walked up to him, he would never have a clue that he even had known me at some point in life. It's just kind of weird to think about, I guess. For me, I have this big hang-up that I want everyone to like me. I get that this may not be healthy but when I deal with you, I want you to leave the situation and think something positive about me. I don't ever want to be a burden on anyone or make people feel bad about themselves when they are around me. I am sure that I don't always get it right but I try. I was also thinking about how I came here to kind of chill out and take on a new perspective in life. As I was having this thought, I was making a list in my head of lessons that I hoped to learn and then had to tell myself that planning for future learned lessons was what I was trying to avoid doing! I was planning out what I would learn. I am trying to go with the flow. Again, trying! Ok, so in Aussie news, there are bush fires burning all over the South and 65 people have died. It is bad. The South is burning and the North is flooding. This is a crazy land. In the morning, I have an interview with a recruiter for another job. I remain cautiously optimistic. At this point, I will take anything because I am tired of having the burden of looking for work. Ok, this heat is forcing me to go to sleep. Again, I would like to write an open letter to the country of Australia and ask why air conditioning is so rare to find! I will never understand it.