Sunday, February 15, 2009

"...it doesn't mean much, it doesn't mean anything at all, the life I've left behind me, is a cold room..."

You know, life is never what we expect it to be, is it? For better or for worse, there are always twists and turns along the way. Now, in coming to Australia, I made plans. I had interviews set up, I had an apartment mapped out, and much more and none of those initial plans panned out. Why they didn't happen, I don't know but I took it all in stride. I reassessed the situation and moved on. Now, I am here five weeks and still in the same boat. I have had interviews and I am waiting for word on several of them but my patience is wearing thin. The one good thing that I will take away from this experience, maybe even the first lesson is to stop planning so much. There we have it, I have learned my first lesson. Lesson One: Life will always pan out as life wants and not as you want. My whole life, I feel like I have made plans and very rarely do they go as planned. So, I am going to take a step back and still be prepared but less reliant on a plan that may never come to fruition. Along with my desire to plan everything, I very rarely live "in the moment". So, that is something that I need to take on too. Gradually, over the years, I have gotten much better but there will always be room for improvement. On a somewhat similar note, I was speaking with some new friends here who are from the UK and one of them said, "Americans work quite a lot and don't really take time out for fun, do they?" And even though we all know this to be true for some reason, hearing it from someone else hit home hard. Why the hell do we work ourselves into oblivion? Is it to buy all these fancy things that we don't need or is it just cultural? I am not materialistic and I don't own any fancy gadgets or anything over the top but I worked seven days a week. Why? I don't know. It just seemed like my self worth was wrapped up in making sure that I had a decent amount of cash coming in at all times. I felt like my day was worthless if I hadn't earned money in it. That is why, as I sit here and do not have a job, I feel completely worthless and I know that I am not but that is how I feel. I can't allow myself to have a really good time because I am devaluing myself due to my lack of work and that is bad. Ok, it is a two for one special tonight, kids. Lesson Two: I am not the things I possess or the job I have. An easy thing to say but a hard concept to follow. I realize that none of these lessons are groundbreaking but for me, it is a part of this process and why I came here. I am here to learn. Now with all that moaning and groaning about my life, I feel the need to recognize how lucky I am, as well and I do, so don't get me wrong. It is just when something is in your own head, it can take precedence. With that said, the bush fires are still bad here and these pictures below were sent to me showing how a koala ran from the fires and took refuge in a water bowl.

7 comments:

Laurie said...

Live to work or work to live... I think it's a common American mindset you are encountering. I have no doubt that you are on the right path! Think of this as a well deserved break after your many years of solid working 7 days/week. Sometimes 2 jobs in 1 day! Thanks for passing along more koala pictures - could they BE any more adorable?

- Edmund - said...

They are pretty frickin adorable lol I mean, I want to buy a koala for everyone I know and give them out as President's Day gifts!

a shi li said...

o o o! Can I have a koala PLEASE!!! He's the cutest stinkin thing I've ever seen, just sitting all happy in the that water bowl. In fact, I'll take two!

*muah*

a shi li said...

PS - Your current ads are for Janitorial services and "Stop Being So Negative." Google ads crack me up. Maybe you should get a job as a janitor. :)

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