Thursday, January 29, 2009

"...I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, they'll learn much more, than I'll ever know, and I think to myself - what a wonderful world..."

February 1st will mark what would have been my Grandpa's 70th birthday. He passed away in August after having been diagnosed with liver cancer just 133 days prior. Since he passed, I have dwelled on thoughts of mortality more so than ever before. I started thinking about how once someone is dead, they are never truly gone until the last living person with a memory of them has died, as well. Kind of odd, I know but he will live on as long as each person who has a memory of him is alive. Thinking of things that way, it made me realize how important it is to really care about people and leave them with positive memories of yourself. We all can be stubborn, rude, or hateful but it serves us all no purpose. When we leave this Earth, the people who remain should be better off because we were here not better off because we are gone. All of this leads me to another tangent and that is about the feeling of vulnerability. I was thinking about how we all strive to never feel vulnerable. We will purposely miss out on chances in life because we felt exposed or vulnerable. I thought about what vulnerability really is and I realized that it is a "growing pain". Vulnerability comes when we are transitioning to a new way of being. It is normal and ultimately, healthy. I decided that I will take that previously negative emotion and try to empower myself by making it a good thing. Ok, so this blog is supposed to be about Australia but more so, it is about me in Australia and those were some of my random thoughts of the past, few days. With that said, today I met with a recruiter and it went ok. As we all know, it is a tough economy everywhere and it can feel as if I am fighting a losing battle but I didn't come here to lose. I can be painfully persistent, maybe to a fault but I am still under the delusion that all will work out. I have a calm about me that is surprising. Will it last? Probably until I wake up tomorrow and then who knows! Please keep in mind that when I am worried about something on here, I am not nagging. I am grateful to be here as I know that almost all of us know someone who has lost their job or is in danger of losing it. I don't want my ranting to be misinterpreted. I am happy to be where I am and this is just a way to vent sometimes. Next week, it looks as if I will have a couple of interviews but for now, I need sleep. Every night I get severe leg cramps from walking so much in this city. I must put in several miles a day or kilometres but who has time for conversions?!

11 comments:

Rachael said...

Sometimes when I read your blogs it is as if you are writing the thoughts in my head. That comforts me to know that someone else in this world is on the exact same page as me...but it's also a bit frightening because you seem to say so eloquently all the things that I can not...at least not yet. Either way, it's such a joy for me to stop and read about what's happening with you :) Hope your day (whichever it is when you read this) is beautiful!

- Edmund - said...

Thanks, Rachael. I am glad to hear that someone enjoys it. This blog is just an easy way to sum up how life is going, you know? And I am sure you can say those things, you just have to force it. You will do it when you are ready! Take care.

Ava said...

Edmund, The verse at the beginning was a beautiful tribute to Papa. He would be so happy and proud that you took this huge leap and are living out your dream. I know that I am.Know that I will always love you. Love, Mom

shadow said...

Hey Edmund...
This is Karen....Jim's Sister. I am so glad that you are pursuing your dreams. I will come here and keep track of you and your journey...The pictures that you hae posted are beautiful. I wish you luck in your search for employment. Take care and Be Careful out there.
Karen

- Edmund - said...

Hi Karen -

Good to hear from you. I hope that the ATL is still treating you well.

Thanks for checking in on the blog! I appreciate it.

Take care,
Edmund

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