Let's be honest, this week has been tough on me. I went to Boston for work and prior to that, I had been in Pensacola for Thanksgiving, so I was worn out from travel. So, I am tired physically and mentally. Today, I received some news that shattered my ideal situation a little bit and it has gotten me down but at the end of the day, I am ok. It is just funny to me how life keeps humbling me. I refuse to get my hopes up over anything because it doesn't work out for me. I don't get it but I am not going to be a downer because in the current state of our country, there are far more people with far greater worries than me. So, I am done with that.
I am a month out from the plane flight and I have only clothing, a bed, tv, and a few smaller items left in the apartment. When I think of what I am doing, it is weird to me. I have dreamed of this forever and as I look around at my tiny, little space in the world, I can't believe that I am going. Someone told me once that "nothing worth doing is easy" and it is so true. I question why I just don't suck it up and succumb to the drudgery of "normal" life but I just can't do it right now. I need to have this experience for better or for worse and if I fall flat, I guess I need to do it on my own terms. Since I started college, I have always worked, at least, two jobs (for a while, I was pulling three with full college credit too) and I just question when I will be done "paying my dues"! On the flip side, those "dues" that I paid are funding this trip! Let's hope it is not in vain.