"...you got me feelin' high and I can't step off the cloud..."

I have to tell you that I am quite excited. I am on the precipice of a 5 week journey. I will be going home to Florida and then off to Colombia and Peru to explore a bit of South America. To cap off this year with this adventure is welcomed and I am most grateful to my work for allowing me the time to do it. I have to say, the US is great but where we lack is when it comes to the importance of personal time and vacations. For us, 5 weeks would never even be possible unless you quit and that is unfathomable to most of us. We are depressed, angry and disgruntled and maybe a little introspection and time away from the hum-drum of life could do us all good. One day, my wish is for the US to take this approach. Australia even has national marketing campaigns called “No Leave, No Life” that encourages people to leave the office and book a trip somewhere.

So, upon meeting my little baby nephew, I am probably going to be overjoyed and then Christmas is right around the corner, so it’s going to be big! After a couple weeks at home, I am going to explore the Amazon and the Andes. It’s so weird that I get to do this. I mean, I have always wanted to see these things and this is real life. The ticket is booked and I will soon be on my way!

Growing up, I would daydream of these places and create ideas of going there but once it settles into reality, it’s quite hard to comprehend until you are there. I am a bit nervous but mainly because of the Spanish language but I have studied Spanish forever and I can support myself well but for some reason, to be completely engulfed into another language can seem quite daunting but here we go, kids! It’s now or never!

So, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah! See you all in Floridaaaa!

"...sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on..."

It's one of those boring nights. The incessant rain of this so-called Sydney Summer pours out past my balcony and I sit here with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Sometimes, we all need these quiet nights. The nights in which the world has seemingly isolated you but I've had too many of those throughout my life. I can come off as extroverted but that is more of a "fake it to make it" strategy. I am fine when I need to be social but just below the surface is this insane introvert, who really oddly enjoys the solace of his own world.

I sit here in my bed staring at my little Christmas tree and I am pondering December 23rd when I will finally go home and see my little nephew, Jayden. I can't wait. Sometimes, I wonder if he is going to like me and then, I realize that he is only human. I will take approximately 1,000 photos of him to which everyone will be subjected on Facebook. I will record videos of him making baby noises on my phone and share them with people that have no interest but dang it, I have paid my dues. I've ogled many baby photos and now, it is my time! So, if you read this...get ready to plaster on the fake smile and share my joy!

So now, hopefully soon, I will drift off into a slumber and count down the 16 days left until I hop across the world to meet my family for Christmas! It can't come soon enough!

"...oh, if only, if only you knew, everything I do is for you..."

November is alive and well in Australia and things are heating up. It is still hard to get used to the concept that November is hot and that Summer is approaching but it is more than welcomed after the chilly Winter that has just passed. In about 6 weeks time, I will be heading home to meet my baby nephew who consumes many of my thoughts these days. I can't wait to be home and to hold him and hug him. It's amazing that you can feel so much love for someone that you've never met. It's sounds weird, I guess but there is this inherent pull within me towards him. From the moment that he entered the world, I felt a swell in my heart. I look at his photos and I melt. It's weird. I have never been like that before but it is a welcomed change.

It makes me wonder though about people who are seemingly hard to the ways of the world or those who are emotionless. Have they just yet to have an experience to make them feel? Or, was something so devastating in their past that it ripped away the sense of simple joys? It's interesting but I want to hold on to the happiness that little Jayden has brought for as long as possible.

So, the big news in my life now is that I sit and wait. I wait to go meet my little Jayden, have a fun Christmas at home and then make an extraordinary trek to South America! I have put the final touches on everything and flights are booked, hotels reserved and tours planned! I will get to see Colombia and Peru and with a little bit of luck, I can have a quick day trip over to Brazil while in the Amazon. As much as I get frustrated and can be a smidge disgruntled, life is all good!

"...and sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live, when you were young..."

30? I am 30! I am 30 years old? How did this happen? It doesn't make any sense! 30 used to be so old! Am I old? This isn't fair! What happened to my young and beautiful youth? Oh wait! I never had it. At least not the beautiful part. Anyways, yeah…it’s my birthday and I must say that in general, I like to be disgruntled and solemn; however, this year, I am opting for a different path.

My life has had little twists and turns that took me to places that I never expected. I have gotten to see and do so much in such a short time on this planet that for once, I feel at peace with October 7th. It’s easy to wake up and dread the day but at the end of it all, I know that there are people that care about me and people that I have impacted in their lives and vice versa and I am grateful for that.

This past year has been such a journey in so many ways. I feel calmer and more relaxed, all while remaining stressed and neurotic. I worry until my brain hurts but at the end of it all, none of it matters and I am trying to slowly teach myself that. It’s hard and I am not a perfect student but I am trying. The biggest lesson that I have learned yet continuously fail at perfecting, is the relinquishing of control. I can’t control situations, I can’t control people, I can’t do it all…I simply need to let go and let life happen sometimes. My whole life, I have been the one to look out for everyone, to make sure everyone was ok and happy and for so long, I neglected myself in that respect but those days are gone to an extent. I have made several choices that have lead me down a path that has allowed me to find happiness through seeing the world and meeting new people. As the boy in Pensacola once dreamed, the man (awkward calling myself a man, it seems so old) is now seeing and doing.

So, as with tradition, I have purchased myself a trip for my birthday but it is delayed a bit and I will be exploring Colombia and Peru in January when I go home for Christmas. From the Amazon to Machu Picchu that is my 30th adventure. I am looking forward to it immensely and I can’t wait to see what South America has in store. I will be taking 5 weeks to visit home, see my new, baby nephew and explore a new continent. So, it’s a new journey, a new beginning and time to embrace life in a new way.

"...I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you..."

Australian Winters are nothing compared to most places but cold is cold and after the chilled air exits and the strong, Aussie sun enters, you feel inspired. It's like a general thaw over your somewhat frozen ways and it is time to start anew. This weekend was that inspiration. From start to finish, the weather was amazing.

In the past, whenever people would go on and on about how great the weather was, I wanted to punch them in the clavicle but now, I sort of get it. It's nice to feel the sun and see the world glowing with blue skies and a big, yellow sun.

I just punched myself in the clavicle for writing that.

Not that I haven't noticed or realized this before but my life here in Australia is really good. Granted, I am far away from the people that I love but coming here has afforded me so many opportunities and experiences that I am eternally grateful. Over the past, few days all of that has rushed through me as, for some reason, I see the world in a different light. I don't like all this positivity! Someone stop me!

Maybe, I am reflecting more because I have a big birthday coming up. Reflecting on where I have been, where I am and where I am going. All these ponderings have made me have three naps today and I am looking forward to the next.